Feeling Inadequate....

Have you guys ever felt inadequate? Have you ever felt as though everyone else was living a much better life than the one you have? Well, as of lately I have been feeling this way. The onset of these emotions came exactly two days ago and I attribute these emotions to the weather (possibly seasonal depression, but in the most minimum form). Every year when the weather breaks and we experience our first extreme rainy day coupled with pure gloomy and muggy skies, I begin to feel this way. This happens every year and I am just beginning to notice the pattern. Lucky for me, it only last a couple days. I am officially over that funk and I dared not blog about my feelings while going through those emotions.

Although I am back to my normal self, I am now beginning to wonder why I go through these changes during this time of the year and what I can do to prevent them in the future. Anyway, I was speaking to a friend of mine (let's call this friend J) and this friend of mine was in turn, telling me about a friend of theirs (let's call this friend T). Well 'J', was telling me that 'T', in less than a couple months time, has relocated back to their hometown of DC/MD area. 'T' has also secured a job making $100K a year, has recently purchased a fancy schmancy car, and was given a home by her mom for a mere $1 pay-off, which she is in the process of remodeling. I was told this information the day my 'funk' set in in. That made my day a bit worse and I began to think why does good fortune like that happen to everyone else besides myself.

Well, I have snapped back to reality and realized that I am living the life many people want to live. I am employed with a job I love. I have the greatest and most supportive family. Here is an except of an email I received from my sis/realtor when I expressed my 'feeling down in the dumps/funk':

so are you still feeling the blues from this time of year.. I never knew that about you... girl whats crazy is Im the opposite, maybe b/c I was born this time of year, But I absolutely love it... the fall leaves, the colors, the weather, everything about it I love.......you get to stay in the house and watch tv and cook...LOL Well girl keep your head up and I say while you are feeling that, its a good time for you to cook, read, workout, do things that make you feel good to get your spirit to stay up... remember we only live once, lets try to be happy while we are here, I have to tell myself that when I do feel down a little...life is short... ENJOY while you can

Her lil email made me feel a bit better and realize I choose to be happy. I don't know how I deciphered that from her message, but that's what I thought upon reading it. Also, I have a dog who think I am the best thing since sliced bread. I have a small, yet close circle of sista girls who are always there to lend a shoulder when needed. I am in great health and am in great shape. I have the luxury of traveling whenever and where ever I want without a care in the world (minus vacation days...LOL!!!) . I have great credit and am awaiting my move into theee house (I'mma get that house y'all). In reality, I have the life I have longed for, as I am not stressed about my bills being payed or health issues. My family and their affairs are in order. I have a great life.

Anyway, thinking about my initial feeling when hearing of 'T's' blessing, I am not happy with myself. I initially thought why her and why not me? Well, you know what? Why not her? I am sure she deserves all she is being blessed with. I am working towards my goals and one day very soon, I will reach and accomplish each and every one. In essence, I am living the perfect life now....If not now, WHEN? Thanks for listening y'all.